oprah's legends lunch: a photographic retrospective.
for my coup d'etat--otherwise known as the final nail in my own coffin, for i have committed career suicide (though i've yet to begin a career) by ripping on oprah for 5 straight entries--i present to you: photos from the legends weekend. i, of course, have provided my own captions. (usually i leave this up to my girl, saf, but i tried my best.)
tina turner and oprah congratulate halle berry after she tells them she finally finished reading their eyes were watching god.
mariah shields her skin from the sun (don't wanna get too dark!) as debbie allen takes her fashion cues from pepto bismol.
della reese, patti labelle, and ruby dee collectively look to the judges before awarding gayle king a hug. the judges did rule in king's favor. apparently being oprah's
singer-songwriter valerie simpson shows gratification after it's finally made clear that ashford and simpson's hit, "solid as a rock," had nothing to do with the spread of crack in the 1980s.
oprah sheds a tear as someone reads the reviews of their eyes were watching god.
natalie cole to mariah, "i know honey, both black and white, yet neither. i just finished talking to halle berry."
phylicia rashad looks at kimberly elise bewildered after elise calls her claire and goes on and on at how much olivia has grown since she last saw her on the cosby show. keys later correctly identified herself. elise apparently wasn't listening because she later asked keys what it felt like to turn her psychic abilities into a disney channel hit show.
apparently using, "i know why the caged bird sings,"as a punchline still gets a bunch of laughs in this set. no one knows, however, why maya angelou has on sunglasses in the house.
janet jackson gives della reese her plastic surgeon's contact info, "he's wonderful, dahling."
this just in: even at 66, tina turner still buys the best hair.
pearl cleage leads the call and response portion of the program. halle gives angela the catwoman stare, "i can't believe that bitch said i won an oscar for playing a ho," she would later tell a close friend.
the best way to honor black women: invite spike lee to your party.
"you know, sidney pwaaaaahhhhhtier, had i not been busy playing a poor black girl growing up in mississippi, i would have made a wonderful lena younger."
later that night, courtney b. vance told his wife, angela bassett, "baby, when i talked about spicing up our sex life by bringing another woman into the bedroom, i did not have leontyne price in mind."
honorary black man, michael mcdonald tickles the ivories while smokey robinson and nick ashford compare old black man bad hairstyles.
"careful, white boy, i may dance like yo' mama on my show, but i can still back that thang up. you're no john travolta, but you're not too bad."
who chose this group to read something OUT LOUD!?!?
no, mary j. blige, we're not in yonkers, anymore.
careful, usher, terry mcmillan loves to marry young gay black men.
handsome white man, james brolin pretends not to notice o pushing up on his wifey. also, barack obama, acting like a senator more and more each day.
until next time, friends, this concludes o week.
language alone protects us from the scariness of things with no names. language alone is meditation. ~toni morrison