(start a rumor monday...)

bush addresses haters, set to record dis record

kanye west said george bush didn't care about black people. well, he's out to change that. in an effort to prove that he's more in touch with his african american constituents than folks think, and to silence those who criticized his response to hurricane katrina, george bush surprised reporters this morning by unequivocally addressing his naysayers....in song.

"there's rumors out there on the internetsssss saying that i don't care about black people," he said earlier today during his monday morning press conference. "i'm sick of all these haters hatin' on me and shit. if i may quote the late homie tupac, they're a bunch of mark ass bitches. so i'm taking the time to let you all know, that george bush ain't no punk. and i'ma let 'em know by spitting a few bars. condi,"

at this point, condi rice pulled a radio raheem-esque boom box from behind the podium, and pressed play. as an "urban interpretation" of "hail to the chief" blasted from the speakers, the secretary of state grabbed a microphone and seemingly channeled doug e. fresh as she beat boxed. unofficial unpaid intern, harold gibson transcribed el presidente's freestyle:

yeah...dub-ya up in this bitch...wit' my bitch...turn my headphones up...yeah/unh/yeah/

i'm the chief, nigga hail me/act like ya know/
when i was gov i fed kangays to nigs on death row/
ray nagin got his nerve/puttin' the commander on blast/
while i'm up here signing checks/his black ass cain't cash/
you got nothing but straight fucked by a bush and a dick/
got y'all feelin' like flood victims/'cause my flow so sick/
you seen pics of my vacay/i'm cowboy and you in'jun/
annihilate ya like genocide/the middle east i'm straight pimpin'/
i'm dub-ya, nigga what!/ask john kerry, i don't play/
when that west rapper comes up dead/just blame the c.i.a./
fuck george clinton/i keep the white house white/
i fuck condi/stick it to her/like white in rice/
my bro jeb will be protected if rita hits the keys/
you got beef?/fuck you, nigga/suck on w-m-deez/**

(poof, pow surprise, oooooooohhhhhhh!!!!!)**

west texas, bitches.

george w. bush, now known as dub-ya, spent the rest of his press conference giving shout outs to fox news reporters.

though there is no release date for his upcoming single, it has been confirmed that dub-ya has signed to noah's ark records.

notes:

for the uninitiated, deez is short for deez nuts.

if you get the, "poof, pow, surprise ooooohhhhh!!!!!" reference (without goggling it), i will do one thing for you. anything. you name it.




until next time, this has been start a rumor monday.