Wednesday, January 05, 2005

though i hate to be the one to have to tell you...oprah is evil

so check it, the bedroom of my parents' house where i slept over the holidays had a copy of o magazine on the nightstand. i think it was from maybe april of '04 (it had a gold and green cover, and the feature story was on bono). anyway, i'm flipping through it one night looking at the articles and features and whatnot. i guess the theme of this particular issue was time management, and making one's busy schedule less hectic. i'm scanning through one of these articles which features an african woman. it's basically going through her day--like she's up at six, drops her kid off at skool by nine, you know, shit like that. there are little pictures of her doing these things. so there's a little picture of her obviously talking with a colleague in front of a computer. here's the thing: this woman is some sort of editor for o magazine south africa.

hold up!!!!! wait a minute!!!!

o, south africa?

yeah, dude. apparently there's an o south africa. hence, i must come to the conclusion that oprah is evil.

follow me? ok, i'll explain more.

on her show, oprah has been putting her humanitarian efforts in south africa on blast: partying with nelson mandela and beyonce; hugging and kissing lil african kids like she's a politician; and, get this, opening up a skool. now if you watch her show and listen to her rhetoric, you'd think she was doing this simply to be the best oprah she could be. what the fuck ever. this bitch is evil. see...i figure she gotta jesus christ complex mixed with a lil rockefeller.

she's trying to save the african continent to create more consumers. she's a media colonizer. this chick is creating her own brand new demographic. in the u.s., she has the white, middle-class, suburban soccer mom in her pocket, so she hits up africa like she's mining for the diamonds she rocks in her ears. (yeah ms. winfrey, lil african children were maimed so that you could bling.) but nobody thinks about this shit b/c e'rybody is just like, 'well because of oprah, the african women aren't being raped by scary black men (remember that show?), and nobody's running around with spears and loin cloths.' ok great. so now they get to go to skool so that they can learn to read o magazine, and consume all of oprah's favorite things? and folks let her get away with this shit b/c she's played that 'i'm a poor black girl from jim crow mississippi' shit so perfectly.

i know i'm ranting and not making any sense. but forgive me, there is something that made me immensely uncomfortable when i discovered that there was an o south africa.

maybe i'm just a hater. i tell you what, though: if i'm ever a oprah's book club selection, i never had this blog.

language alone protects us from the scariness of things with no names. language alone is meditation. ~toni morrison


Blogger Jay said...

I'm not surprised.
And, I think it's great that there's this whole article about the average woman, just taking her kids to school, and...oh wait. She works for the Oprah Mega-Corporation. She makes 8 times more money than she wants or needs. Is she an average woman? Nope? But one day Oprah was walking by her desk, and thought, gee, that poor woman is wearing shoes she's obviously worn at least once before...let's spend a day taking pictures of her plight!

5/1/05 17:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oprah probably gave her the shoes and outfit she wore in the magazine spread...Strike that, because my grandmother told me that she auctions off her old show wardrobe to her employees. The woman probably bought the shit in the auction. However it went, Oprah is definitely about marketing herself, her products (show, magazine, movies), and her way of thinking to the masses. And she's not about to let genocidal shit like an AIDS pandemic get in her way. Why not sell "help" to a population that needs it so desperately? Like selling crack rock to Biggums. Easiest shit in the world. Remember when I said Oprah was the mammy of the white middle class? My bad, she's got the whole world suckling at her billion-dollar bosom. But, like you said, Summer, if the hoe shouted me out for anything, I'd be opening wide for my fucking feeding. Word.

5/1/05 22:49  
Blogger summer m. said...

word, jay.

oprah is like crack, saf. damn...

but a sister will be breast fed is need be, no doubt.

5/1/05 23:51  
Blogger deadinside said...

I think Oprah is the antichrist. Everyone always acts like someone obviously evil is the dark prince, but if the devil is trully ingenious, wouldn't he try to seem like Jesus and suck masses of people in?

6/1/05 02:30  
Blogger Jdid said...

I'm with you. My thoughts are that oprah is like jim jones just waiting to give her mindless minnions the word to drink the poison. straight evil!

6/1/05 11:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, Oprah is the Wicked Witch of the West, and that fucking picture of her on that magazine cover, with the abs, is computer enhanced. I swear 'fore God...

8/1/05 10:56  
Blogger summer m. said...

yeah...i can't believe that she tried to pass that off as her.

8/1/05 10:57  
Anonymous Jay said...

It's so sad that you all can't see that Oprah is a true humanitarian. Do you really think Oprah Winfrey would wear conflict diamonds on national television? Steadman is rich many times over, without Oprah's money, and can afford to buy the best, NONconflict diamonds on the market. Rich people don't have to take the shorts that poor people do. Too bad your energy is not focussed on, I don't know, ending the war in Iraq? Just a thought.

29/8/05 10:55  
Blogger RoRicka said...

remember, summer m., you cannot have an opinion in your own blog. how DARE you blaspheme the omnipotent oprah winfrey?! she is, after all, the gracious, always other-oriented, personal savior of the world. SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE A GOD-COMPLEX OR DO ANYTHING SHADY OR FOR PERSONAL GAIN.

psh. people are struggling in the same neighborhood that her studio is in, is she lifting them up? doing feature stories on their 25 year old shoes, and how she saved them from their poverty? HELL NO. she's got her market here in the US and they're eatin her shit off her 'favorites list' platter so why not inundate the rest of the world with a tribute to herself.

i really stopped caring about oprah when she was late to hermes, and pulled the race card. they probably would have told me to fuck off too if i came knocking after hours.

29/8/05 16:59  
Anonymous Penguin said...

Why is the world so blind to the true evil Oprah and her poor abused husband. I saw on Oprahs show a clip of her at home with Stedman and she wanted to get three puppies. Stedman said absolutely not. The camera goes off and around five minutes later Oprah is getting three puppies. Evil she propably threatened to take away his allowence. God I can't stand her she is so annoying. I hate when she says let me tell you something sister. I love to watch Debra messing from mad Tv impersonate her and show the true Oprah. THATS WHY I'm OPRAH!

4/10/05 22:10  
Blogger summer m. said...

@penguin: jneezy, is that you? if not, sorry.

4/10/05 22:14  
Anonymous fifi said...

Control disguised as charity is not charitable. When a giver puts strings on their "gift" it's not a gift. The person with money who says they want to know how it is spent, is really saying they are still in the position to CONTROL what the people in need do with THEIR money even when it is not theirs anymore..It isn't really giving it away because they want the poor person to sing for his supper. This is NOT real charity it is cherry picking elitism dressed up as charity.

Oprah whatever your name is – give your money quietly and with good grace…then let it go.

ps. I adored your writing $ummer and other posters. Sometimes I can't understand a word I am reading and other times I'm astonished, provoked, enlightened and smiling.
I'm a Londoner who now lives next to the Indian Ocean in Western Autralia.
You've taken the English language and somehow added the spice its been lacking since Shakespeare!

28/1/07 08:01  
Blogger summer m. said...

@fifi: thank you so much for your kind words. i really appreciate that. i need constructive feedback--both positive and negative--many thanks for you taking the time out to say something.

p.s. i'm heading to london for the first time in two weeks. anything i should definitely check out?

28/1/07 08:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know who you are, but you rock!
Oprah South Africa???
There's something going down.....

7/3/07 17:53  
Anonymous generic cialis 20mg said...

Interesting article, added his blog to Favorites

23/11/10 22:10  

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