though i hate to be the one to have to tell you...oprah is evil


so check it, the bedroom of my parents' house where i slept over the holidays had a copy of o magazine on the nightstand. i think it was from maybe april of '04 (it had a gold and green cover, and the feature story was on bono). anyway, i'm flipping through it one night looking at the articles and features and whatnot. i guess the theme of this particular issue was time management, and making one's busy schedule less hectic. i'm scanning through one of these articles which features an african woman. it's basically going through her day--like she's up at six, drops her kid off at skool by nine, you know, shit like that. there are little pictures of her doing these things. so there's a little picture of her obviously talking with a colleague in front of a computer. here's the thing: this woman is some sort of editor for o magazine south africa.

hold up!!!!! wait a minute!!!!

o, south africa?

yeah, dude. apparently there's an o south africa. hence, i must come to the conclusion that oprah is evil.

follow me? ok, i'll explain more.

on her show, oprah has been putting her humanitarian efforts in south africa on blast: partying with nelson mandela and beyonce; hugging and kissing lil african kids like she's a politician; and, get this, opening up a skool. now if you watch her show and listen to her rhetoric, you'd think she was doing this simply to be the best oprah she could be. what the fuck ever. this bitch is evil. see...i figure she gotta jesus christ complex mixed with a lil rockefeller.

she's trying to save the african continent to create more consumers. she's a media colonizer. this chick is creating her own brand new demographic. in the u.s., she has the white, middle-class, suburban soccer mom in her pocket, so she hits up africa like she's mining for the diamonds she rocks in her ears. (yeah ms. winfrey, lil african children were maimed so that you could bling.) but nobody thinks about this shit b/c e'rybody is just like, 'well because of oprah, the african women aren't being raped by scary black men (remember that show?), and nobody's running around with spears and loin cloths.' ok great. so now they get to go to skool so that they can learn to read o magazine, and consume all of oprah's favorite things? and folks let her get away with this shit b/c she's played that 'i'm a poor black girl from jim crow mississippi' shit so perfectly.

i know i'm ranting and not making any sense. but forgive me, there is something that made me immensely uncomfortable when i discovered that there was an o south africa.

maybe i'm just a hater. i tell you what, though: if i'm ever a oprah's book club selection, i never had this blog.