Tuesday, July 19, 2005

get your freak on...sex tag

today is a slow blogging day. so, i thought i'd pick up on sex tag. saf started this meme several weeks ago, and i just dropped the ball. now that i've been reminded of my promise to post this junk by mwilli, i thought i'd go ahead and write it up.

i cannot promise that i'll be totally forthright, but you know, that's just my style.

here goes...
  1. how did you learn about sex? i suppose soap operas initially. then moms. if you've met brenda c. you know how honest homegirl is. she had/has a 'keep it (REALLY) real' approach to parenting.
  2. did you ever play crazy 'exploratory' games as a kid? nah, not really. i had imaginary friends as a kid, and they weren't putting out.
  3. how old were you when you lost your virginity? 29...(i'm 25.)
  4. what is the worst sex you ever had? no sex-if no sex is a kind of sex, and i believe it is-- is the worst kind of sex i've ever had.
  5. what is the best sex you ever had? that one time with me, res, and...wait. that never really happened.
  6. have you ever been caught having sex? one cannot be caught when one is not engaging in the activity.
  7. where is the wildest place you've ever had sex? let me look into the archive...prolly my former boss' office...on her desk...in the middle of the day...with the door unlocked. (stupid, stupid, stupid...)
  8. what sex would you take back if you could? since there is generally a 90 day policy on returns, and i don't have the receipt, i doubt if i could even get a store credit. but i guess i'd take back several sexcapades with my ex. and fucking around with boys now kinda proves pointless. but, you know, whatever.
  9. what sex would you have if you could go back? according to my friends--saf, nahmix, and a couple others--i have passed up TONS of pussy, er uh, ass. (they may yearn to elaborate in the comments sextion.) since--according to saf--i have no social skills, i have somehow fucked up these potential liaisons. therefore, i just wanna say to all the girls i coulda loved before (that might be reading this blog, but prolly aren't), 'if given another chance, i'd love to lay ya down. it's not that i didn't want to in the first place. see, i have this thing where i never know when a girl is flirting with me, so i say the wrong things if i say anything at all. it's not you. it's me. i'm totally inept in the flirting department. and, well, i always have these crazy internal dialogues in my head that prevent me from appearing like a normal human being. they also preclude me from flirting back. and i just wanna say...'
  10. what is your favorite 'kind' of sex? real-life sex. you know, as opposed to imaginary sex.
  11. do you have sexual hang-ups? yeah, i can't get any. but if i ever got any, i would just need to make it clear that my bedroom is a pee free zone. just in case i hook up with a roberta kelly.
  12. porn/pros/strip shows/swinging/s&m? believe it or not (and you prolly won't), if i ever watch porn (soft/hard/whatever), and i rarely do, it's for the acting. it's so bad it cracks me up. anyway, i will not pay for sex. watching strangers strip is not alluring to me. you can swing on deez mcnuts. and i'm not really into whips and chains and shit (slavery, anyone?), but if you wanna do some lightweight s&m, i'll give it a shot.
  13. what have you tried? i've tried to get some. it didn't work.
  14. what would you like to try? i'd like to try to have sex again before i die.
  15. who is your dream partner? a female, preferably still breathing...um, i can't really call it. anyone in the upcoming 'women i'd like to catch the gay' entry will do.
  16. if you had to fill in this blank--"i'm a ______ in bed"--what would you fill it with? cover hog...hmmm. i guess i'd say, i'm a customer service representative in bed. how may i help you? you know, like, if i ever got the chance, in my own controlling way i'd aim to please and shit.
  17. what is your favorite word for sex? coitus. but since that term is heteronormative in its definition (see, i can be a good dyke, too!), i'll just go with fuck...no...fuck that. coitus. and that's my final answer.
  18. what's more intimate--kissing or humping? kissing--intimacy according to pretty woman.
i suppose if someone wants me to really answer these questions they'll ask, and i shall do so more honestly perhaps in the comments. until next time, you've been tagged.

language alone protects us from the scariness of things with no names. language alone is meditation. ~toni morrison


Blogger Jdid said...

i had imaginary friends as a kid, and they weren't putting out.

thats a classic line

19/7/05 12:56  
Blogger MB said...

i'm a have to pass on this tag, can't be puttin' my business in the street like that ;)

19/7/05 16:00  
Blogger deshi said...

watching strangers strip is unappealing and certainly way different than having a stranger sit on your lap in a private room.
nuff said.
wanna hit a "tittie bar" with me?

19/7/05 16:21  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Summer, you're a certified nut. But the only mutha fucka I know who could make sex tag as hilarious as this.

19/7/05 20:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting!! You are really funny and in need of some good luvin'. I am more nice and slow, but nasty because I can run with the best of them. The wildest place I ever had sex was at the St. Louis Art Museum and later that day in the parking lot of the St. Louis Zoo. I love having sex in places were you can get caught, it makes you feel more sexy and other things (if you know what I mean). I have been caught several times and never really been shy about it. The majority of my sexual experiences haven't been too bad and if I could take it back I would't have lost my virginity to a boy (literally) and a football player...I wish I could take that back. I watch porn for the laughter and I am a fan of s&m, I don't do bondage, but I love it rough sometimes. My dream sexual 3 way is with Janet Jackson and Angelina Jolie...YEAH BABY!! If I could choose one girl here in Providence that I would have sex with before I leave, it would have to be the Dunkin Donuts girl on Cranston St. she is hot and I have been wanting to have sex with a Latin honey since I been here, but never really approached any of them. Danced with them at the club, even made out with a couple of them, but always went home with someone else. When I am in a relationship I am all for monogomy, but single I love da bad girls. I am very laid back, but love girls with attitude and intelligence, like ms. summer here. Overall, I have a very high sex drive and wondered several times if I need professional help, but I think I will let this ride out.

20/7/05 02:47  
Blogger summer m. said...

@jdid: thanx, i try.

@moya: i can understand one's desire to remain mum on such things.

@deshi: confessions were last friday.

@safire: i'm glad someone can laugh at my pain.

@anon: how long's the drive to providence from chicago? i got a car, 2000 more miles 'til my next oil change, and a tank full of gas...

20/7/05 09:26  
Blogger mwilli said...

i am at a loss for words.

20/7/05 11:59  
Blogger summer m. said...

@mwilli: why?

20/7/05 12:02  
Blogger a. said...

You never cease to amuse me. I might do this meme.

20/7/05 17:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Providence is a ways from Chicago, but I am leaving really soon. I am actually being called to Ohio next, and maybe Chicago is next on my list of conversions.

20/7/05 21:11  
Blogger summer m. said...

@anon: well, you know, my parents do currently live in the buckeye state...

20/7/05 23:21  
Blogger mwilli said...

although your answers are funny as hell... i thought you'd be more revealing. enquirin minds wanna know, but never mind. i'm just a nosey bitch.

21/7/05 04:18  

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