Monday, January 30, 2006

o week part deux: day 1
start a rumor monday


winfrey: 'don't get it twisted, whitey. i will play sofia and you will be the mayor's wife, ya heard?'

don't get duped...again. much has been said about the latest events surrounding the a million little pieces debacle that blew up in oprah's face as if she stepped in a landmine during a tour of 'nam in '67. having been outted as a studio gangsta (shoutout mrs. robinson!) by the smoking gun, author james frey--who spent the latter part of 2005 reaping rewards and depositing mad scrilla in his piggy bank due to the "oprah's book club" stamp of approval--had to face the music. unfortunately for him, the musician was an angry black woman with a lot of viewers. survey says that shit was worse than getting your ass beat in front of your class in fourth grade when your teacher called your mama because you were acting out. and unfortunately for you, your mama was on vacation from her job and was washing her hair when she got the call. so she came up to the skool in too tight sweatpants, some dirty as, nigga. oprah's mad, no doubt. but let us tell you the real:

a million little pieces is the only oprah's book club pick she ever really read.

(ain't it a bitch when sparknotes ain't available and shit?)

yuh. the edited version of the episode showed winfrey george foreman grillin' lil jimmy (that nigga looked shook on the real) on every embellishment lie he told in his, er, memoir. but on the live show, winfrey said, "but i read the whole book, but i read the whole book" sporadically throughout the show.

"she was devastated," one of winfrey's producers--who wanted to remain anonymous--said in a brief interview. "she couldn't believe the book club choice she finally read in its entirety was full of lies. all she kept saying in our morning meeting before the show was, 'who makes up stories, compiles them, and puts them in a book? who does that? who does that?'"

winfrey has retreated to her santa barbara, ca home called promised land for rest and clarity.

in unrelated news, james frey is really an alcoholic now. fortunately, he can afford the good stuff this time around.


language alone protects us from the scariness of things with no names. language alone is meditation. ~toni morrison

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

once again, thank you for making me laugh!

29/1/06 23:40  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, that's my comment. I thought I logged in. -a.

29/1/06 23:44  
Anonymous bunny said...

survey says that shit was worse than getting your ass beat in front of your class in fourth grade when your teacher called your mama because you were acting out. and unfortunately for you, your mama was on vacation from her job and was washing her hair when she got the call. so she came up to the skool in too tight sweatpants, some dirty ass bacon grease coated house shoes, and her head full of red and teal plastic rollers.

Me, ROTFLMBAO!!! Thanks for the visual Summer. Um yeah my mom used to threaten me with this shit all the time!!

30/1/06 00:13  
Blogger Karsh said...

She really shoulda pulled a slap across the face with baby powder. That would've been off the chain!

"But I read the whole book..." She need not sound so surprised.

30/1/06 08:09  
Blogger Harold Gibson said...

Damn Summer call me crazy but ya know its sumthin bout an angry black woman that just makes me feel kinda freaky. I don't usually watch the entirety of Ms. O but I watched this one all the way through and I felt kinda good after it was over.

30/1/06 08:11  
Blogger Dr. S said...

rock on, Summer. and your new picture is badass.

30/1/06 08:36  
Blogger Miss Jessi said...

'who makes up stories, compiles them, and puts them in a book? who does that? who does that?'

Oh, no... that's the funniest shit ever... wow... Thank you for making an otherwise really jacked up Monday better...

30/1/06 10:52  
Blogger Nick Davis said...

Wait until she finds out that Paradise didn't really happen, either...

30/1/06 16:15  
Blogger nikki said...

i haven't really been paying alot of attention to this situation, which lets me know just how bit it is when i don't watch television or listen to the radio and yet i'm still hearing about it everywhere.

30/1/06 21:28  
Anonymous studpoet said...

*lol* i saw the show (the real one) and she basically verbally bitch slapped him. she had all kinds of specialist on there saying (in essence) "you're a f'ing liar and you will burn in hell for this."
my girl and i were just shaking our heads saying, "why did he have to piss off Oprah Christ? his career is over"

lol

31/1/06 10:48  
Blogger nubian said...

oprah christ..

hah, that's some funny shit.
i'm even more scared of her after that show, and i didn't even see it.

31/1/06 12:41  
Blogger Phoenix said...

fyi: a week usually consists of more than one day. (just in case you were curious).

2/2/06 11:26  
Blogger Phoenix said...

q(but no pressure. it was just a joke mayne. i know genius be takin' time sometime. teehee...hee?)

3/2/06 00:29  
Blogger Kyle said...

I love this...

12/2/06 04:08  

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