Monday, January 23, 2006

before i begin, i just wanna give a special thanks to all of you who read my last entry, and left really nice and caring messages. a nig genuiniely appreciates your kindness and understanding. i've made an appt. with my personal dr. freud. i'ma try my best to show up this time. i'll keep you posted.

be easy,

start a rumor monday latelate edition

will the real slim shady please stand up?

there's a reason why black people aren't on intervention.** and, folks found out why yesterday...sorta. last night, just days after summer m. confessed to suffering from bouts of depression, several blog readers got the bright idea of staging an intervention. "we were just so scared after reading summer m.'s last blog entry," one anonymous fecundmellow reader said. "we were worried. we decided to head to chicago."

boy were they in for a surprise. the above mentioned anonymous commenter and her partner, along with harold gibson and saf's cousin, miss jessi all met at the john hancock cheesecake factory to discuss helping their beloved blogstar, summer m. "we were mad concerned. she seemed so vulnerable (comma) yo," said miss jessi, sounding quite disturbed. the group decided to "intervene" by showing up to summer m.'s chicago apartment unannounced. they chose sunday afternoon as the best time.

"we waited until one of her neighbors walked into the building. we found her apartment. and then...and then," said the anonymous commenter, unable to complete her sentence. harold gibson helped her, "summer m. is a muthafuckin' white girl."

that's right. the small cohort literally lost their shit when a white woman opened the door. "she was, um, blonde," the anonymous commenter said, mustering her strength. "and, um, she had...she had those white people locs. you know, dirty braids."

"she looks a lot like jewel," miss jessi suggested, "but with locs and shit."

according to all members of the small intervention group, "summer m.'s" name is actually mackenzie cunningham, a 26 year old folk singer and student from st. paul minnesota. apparently, cunningham initially feigned as summer m.'s girlfriend, but no one went for it. "then she was on some a beautiful mind shit, saying a black girl lived in her head and shit. but we weren't buying it," miss jessi said. cunningham then came clean. she explained that the real summer m. had been her roommate during her freshman year at purdue university. summer had been an agriculture major until an unfortunate tractor incident cut her dreams of becoming an agricultural engineer short. "she always smelled like a combination of lye, vaseline, and cow dung," cunningham confided to the group. "her face was always shiny. and for whatever reason, her index and thumb fingers were always red. i never found out where that was from."

apparently, summer's parents allowed cunningham to keep their daughter's computer. there were ample photographs left on her hard drive. cunningham admitted that her blogging had initially been an experiment that spun out of control very quickly. a graduate student in psychology, cunningham explained that she wanted to see if she could convince complete strangers that she was a black lesbian. "i like to call it an internet version of black like me."

"we feel like we really lost an icon," anonymous and her partner lamented. "summer m. was like the meshell ndegeocello of the blogging world. they look a lot alike, you know. now who will black lesbian (feminist) bloggers look up to?"


**i don't know if black people aren't on intervention. i don't even really watch the show.

language alone protects us from the scariness of things with no names. language alone is meditation. ~toni morrison


Blogger Nick Davis said...

Does this make it a good time for me to reveal that I am actually a black lesbian named Meka? And that I have been secretly engineering your exposure ever since you thanked your mother for not giving you my name?

It was either this or I showed up to Chicago and got on my Irene Redfield. I hope you can concede that I went with the gentler option.

23/1/06 23:56  
Blogger Harold Gibson said...

What I actually said was aw hell to the naw, Summer M. is a muthafuckin white girl.

Sum--keep yo head up!!!!

24/1/06 08:18  
Blogger nahmix said...

so i just laughed out loud at this entry, mostly at the thought of you being a white girl right as my boss came to the door. she wanted to know what was so funny. i panicked. not sure what to say and not wanting to get in trouble for reading a blog when i have a shit load of work, said um, summer's a white girl in need of an intervention (WTF?). I was hoping she would not ask anything further, but instead she said: well most of them are. how about that?!?! LOL! i hope things get better!

24/1/06 10:27  
Blogger Miss Jessi said...

I'm so very honored to be a part of this weeks rumor....

And I actually laughed so loud that everybody looked at me like i was crazy.. Summer M, Blogstar a white girl? Hell To The Naw...

Girl, this was BRILLIANT... keep it coming!

24/1/06 12:52  
Blogger Alii said...

ooooh- thats why you're scared to come to the ATL? You mean to tell me that when i went to Chicago- that was just a tan?

Damn- my feelings got real hurt

24/1/06 14:48  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For a minute there I was believing you and then I said Damn, she got ya ass believing the rumor. LMFAO!!

Keep us posted.


24/1/06 18:22  
Blogger nubian said...

mackenzie cunningham...


24/1/06 20:25  
Blogger nikki said...


name can't get no whiter than mackenzie cunningham...unless the name is heidi cunningham.

24/1/06 21:24  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was wondering where this idea went. Excellent execution, I must say.

24/1/06 23:15  
Blogger Dr. S said...

Tres excellent.

27/1/06 00:20  
Blogger Morcy said...

This rumor took me like forever to get. Which doesn't mean it wasn't enjoyable. Just very, very confusing.

27/1/06 16:34  

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