Tuesday, December 20, 2005

though this has been not a very popular feature on my blog (sorc 10 was genius, nigga!), i feel compelled to try again. the following is prolly the longest snippet ever. not just because the whole convo was mad funny (comma) yo (it was), but because it also is a very nice example of the relationship between my mother, sister, and me (or is it i?).

warning: this shit is crude.

snippets of a random conversation

take 13

summer: whatup?

mom: chillin'. i'm calling because i have a question. nala, stop that! [sounding a bit frustrated] i'm asking you because nobody else will tell me. so after janelle [mi hermana] wouldn't tell me, i said, 'summer will tell me.'

summer: aight. hit me.

mom: [very earnestly, innocently] what's tea bagging?

summer: it's [this is a family blog, nigga!].

mom: oh. that's it?

summer: yeah. why wouldn't anyone tell you?

mom: well, what had happened was, adam [her former employee. i think my mother is having a love affair with a younger white man, but i ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard it from me.] and i were having breakfast at bob's [bob evans. moms has her own slang.], and when the waitress asked me what i wanted to drink, i said i wanted hot water and a lemon. she asked me if i'd like some tea, and i said, 'no tea bag.' adam laughed, and i asked him why. he asked me if i knew what tea bagging was, and i said no, but he wouldn't tell me. he said i'd have to ask one of my kids. so i asked janelle, and she wouldn't tell me. she said cody [mi hermana's novio] would tell me. so she called cody, and i asked him, but he wouldn't tell me. so i said i'd ask dad [strong, silent type. not one to talk openly about the get down], but they were all like, "no!!!!" so i figured i'd ask you.

summer: leave it to a lesbian.

mom: i know, right? i guess i need to get another copy of the karma sutra.

janelle [in the background]: mom!

mom: what? i got a copy of the karma sutra. i don't know how i ever raised such sexually inhibited children.

summer: i'm not a prude.

mom: well, janelle is. what janelle? you can do it, but you can't talk about it? [like, yeah, she started chastising her right there on the phone.]

summer: you are ridiculous.


mom: you know, i'm responsible for the inspirational reading this month for church.

summer: oh god.

mom: and i talked about whitney houston.

summer: what's wrong with you?

mom: i talked about how we should appreciate people for their gifts in spite of their faults. they laughed.

summer: because you're ridiculous.


mom: do you know where a dog's vagina is?

summer: yeah.

mom: can you show me?

summer: will nala let us?

mom: she let me take a urine sample [at the vet's office].

summer: ok. do you have anything else important to say or ask?

mom: um, no.

summer: aight. peace.

language alone protects us from the scariness of things with no names. language alone is meditation. ~toni morrison


Blogger a. said...

Am I a prude? I surely hadn't heard of tea-bagging.Thanks for the education! ;-)

20/12/05 15:50  
Blogger Dr. S said...

That's hilarious. And it's "between [or even "among"] my mother, sister, and me." :)

Your new profile picture is great--the early-age move-bustin'.

20/12/05 17:30  
Blogger summer m. said...

@a: not knowing what tea bagging is doesn't mean you're a prude. it might mean you're old, though. kids and their slang.

@dr. s: thank you. i mean, at this point my writing skills are obviously questionable. how did i get into grad skool? and, how in the hell can other grad students, folks w/ playa hatin' degrees, and other learned peeps tolerate the writing on this here blog? it remains a mystery.

oh, and, lil summer m. was getting her groove on (comma) yo.

20/12/05 17:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell is tea bagging?? If you make a comment about my age for not knowing I will kick your ass!!! No, but for real, what is it???

20/12/05 18:41  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

first.. what is (comma)?

thanx for the education, i didn't know what tea bagging was either.

crack the hell up at the pause for the definition. yeah.. this was a good repost.

did you really ask your mom, "do you have anything else important to say or ask," and then "peace."
b/c me and my mom are so close i guess i am very observant of how others relate to their parents.

in any case, your mom seems pretty cool. i can appreciate a cool moms.
this one chik

20/12/05 20:39  
Blogger Phoenix said...

i love your new profile description (of course). all this talk about relationships is revealing the real softie. (good.) i cosign it all.

(yes, i know this had nothing to do with the post.)


21/12/05 00:00  
Blogger Harold Gibson said...

Summ no wonder you are so retarded. It's in your genes. Your mother is maad funny. As Whitney Houston would say Hell to Naw she did not say I had faults when she used me in her Inspirational Moment at Church. Your moms must have forgotten Whitney told the world Crack is Wack!
By the way, my kids also told me what tea baggin was and I grounded those heathens for a month!

21/12/05 06:02  
Blogger summer m. said...

@anon: click on the tea bagging link...old ass.

@this one: yeah, i asked my mom that. that's just how we talk to each other. i mean, the other day, when i was getting my flight plans all situated, i made a joke about sliding off the runway (i'm flying southwest), and she and my dad proceeded to tell me how they'd immediately move (after the services, they assured me), and sue in my name.

we just relate to each other in a very raw way. no room for thin skin. unless, of course, you're my sister who gets all sensitive when someone jokes about her dying. she's wack like that.

@phoenix: why you be trying to see the softer side of searssummer m?

@harold: hey, let's call each other retarded. that's not nice.

and don't ground your kids. you asked. you wanted them to lie?

21/12/05 09:05  
Blogger Amadeo said...

Tea-baggin...good family fun.

21/12/05 09:22  
Blogger Phoenix said...

umm...cuz you be transparent.

21/12/05 09:32  
Blogger summer m. said...

uh...that shoulda read "softer side of sears, er, summer m.?" sometimes i get my html confused.

@amadeo: ain't it though?

@phoenix: am not.

21/12/05 09:42  
Blogger Phoenix said...

@summer: are too.
siiiike...more like translucent. one can really see through if they look close enough...

21/12/05 13:19  
Blogger Miss Jessi said...

Oh, yes... that was FUNNY.. I love how you and your mom are... truly a wonderful relationship

21/12/05 18:05  
Blogger MB said...

Moya: Summer's still talking about convo 10 on her blog
Alii: everything is going according to plan . . .

*Shared evil villan cackle*

21/12/05 22:38  
Blogger summer m. said...

@miss jessi: we're ridiculous, aren't we?

@mb: oh, save it. stop being on your grad student looking too far into things and such. that entry just shoulda got some love.

22/12/05 09:45  
Blogger Phoenix said...

(since this sorc has 15 comments, i guess i must believe that people really do read them. they just ain't on our genuis. don't sweat the technique.)

m.bizzle and a.sun-i'm rolling my eyes at you.

22/12/05 11:26  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ummm, can you and Phoenix get a damn room (comma) yo?

And can I just say for the hundredth time that I love your mama. Brendas are fucking great to be raised by, ain't they?

22/12/05 15:38  
Blogger Jdid said...

ha ha ha, too funny

23/12/05 05:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me again again Dude..
I liked the link to tea bagging (of course I would)searching in thethe urban dictionary "shrimping" and no not what you do with toes. I would greatly love to hear(read) your opinions.
you'll dislike me shortly..
Messed up in R.I.
P.s. sorry if you were eating...

24/3/06 22:32  

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