though this has been not a very popular feature on my blog (sorc 10 was genius, nigga!), i feel compelled to try again. the following is prolly the longest snippet ever. not just because the whole convo was mad funny (comma) yo (it was), but because it also is a very nice example of the relationship between my mother, sister, and me (or is it i?).

warning: this shit is crude.

snippets of a random conversation

take 13

summer: whatup?

mom: chillin'. i'm calling because i have a question. nala, stop that! [sounding a bit frustrated] i'm asking you because nobody else will tell me. so after janelle [mi hermana] wouldn't tell me, i said, 'summer will tell me.'

summer: aight. hit me.

mom: [very earnestly, innocently] what's tea bagging?

summer: it's [this is a family blog, nigga!].

mom: oh. that's it?

summer: yeah. why wouldn't anyone tell you?

mom: well, what had happened was, adam [her former employee. i think my mother is having a love affair with a younger white man, but i ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard it from me.] and i were having breakfast at bob's [bob evans. moms has her own slang.], and when the waitress asked me what i wanted to drink, i said i wanted hot water and a lemon. she asked me if i'd like some tea, and i said, 'no tea bag.' adam laughed, and i asked him why. he asked me if i knew what tea bagging was, and i said no, but he wouldn't tell me. he said i'd have to ask one of my kids. so i asked janelle, and she wouldn't tell me. she said cody [mi hermana's novio] would tell me. so she called cody, and i asked him, but he wouldn't tell me. so i said i'd ask dad [strong, silent type. not one to talk openly about the get down], but they were all like, "no!!!!" so i figured i'd ask you.

summer: leave it to a lesbian.

mom: i know, right? i guess i need to get another copy of the karma sutra.

janelle [in the background]: mom!

mom: what? i got a copy of the karma sutra. i don't know how i ever raised such sexually inhibited children.

summer: i'm not a prude.

mom: well, janelle is. what janelle? you can do it, but you can't talk about it? [like, yeah, she started chastising her right there on the phone.]

summer: you are ridiculous.

[...]

mom: you know, i'm responsible for the inspirational reading this month for church.

summer: oh god.

mom: and i talked about whitney houston.

summer: what's wrong with you?

mom: i talked about how we should appreciate people for their gifts in spite of their faults. they laughed.

summer: because you're ridiculous.

[...]

mom: do you know where a dog's vagina is?

summer: yeah.

mom: can you show me?

summer: will nala let us?

mom: she let me take a urine sample [at the vet's office].

summer: ok. do you have anything else important to say or ask?

mom: um, no.

summer: aight. peace.