Friday, December 16, 2005

this weekend's essay: thank you for being a friend.

sum, saf, nahmix

golden girls is my all-time favorite tv show for more than just life according to sophia patrillo, the fact that i see myself in dorothy, blanche's sexual freedom, or rose's pleasant naivete; it's more than their timeless humor, or the fact that it's the greatest. sitcom. of. all. time. and. eternity. plus. forever. and. a day. i also love gg because of the kind of friendship you get to witness on the tv screen.

my love for the show, along with saf's recent repatriation to the mistake on the lake (sum-n-saf half will return once she gets settled) got me thinking about the real life homies i've met while living in the chi. i don't make friends easily. often, i don't make friends at all. but, i've been fortunate enough to meet some cool folks while getting grown in the city of wind.

it took me over a year to get used to life on my own. i graduated, left indiana, came to the chi, got my own place, and started grad skool simultaneously. what can i say? i like my trauma all at the same time. my homegyrl candace really helped me out. we met when we were sixteen; we were roommates during a summer program for allegedly gifted black kids. we fell in and out of touch as we finished high skool and moved on to college (purdon't [me] and spelman [her]), and by the time i moved, she had already returned to chicago. she helped me find my first place--which was literally around the corner from her, and invited me to her fam's sunday dinner every week. from late nights watching and trying to get on qvc (we're both insomniacs) to introducing me to home run inn (the greatest pizza ever), candace will always be a dear old pal, and one of my closest friends. i mean really, only one other person has been dealing with my crazy ass and my various incarnations (yo, candace remembers me skinnier, with a relaxer, and, uh, totally straight) longer.

as i contemplated dropping out of skool and moving into my parents' basement, my fellow skoolmate rrrrachel helped a homegyrl stay sane. she's the best ever. during our first year we'd watch chappelle's show and talk about how both of us didn't really belong in our program. during our car pools to and from skool we had long talks about whatever, discovering that we had more than a love of literature--and erykah badu and andre 3000 and certain profs in the department-- in common. fortunately, we're both still here. and we've decided that it's not because we aren't smart enough that we're such outsiders in our department, but that we're too smart to be fucked with. (whatever. it works for us.)

by third year i met that black beyotch, saf, and nahmix. we first hung out at a lauryn hill concert, and have seen the mighty mos, the savior jean grae, the roots (how many times now, nahmix?), and a ton of other concerts and plays. if saf is my creative homie and shit talking partner, nahmix is my moral center (you know, like in a novel). saf and i have a tendency to hype each other up, talking about how live each other is. on some, "yeah, nigga, we should do that shit." but nahmix will chime in and be like, "um, ladies, isn't that illegal?" anyway, saf is like one of my favorite writers, and i really think she's got one of the sharpest minds (and tongues) i've ever had the opportunity to come across. chloe morrison is also our favorite scribe (no, not faulkner, nigga. more on that next week.) . i've said this before, but nahmix is mad focused and disciplined, which i have a lot of respect for, as i possess neither of these things; she's also just really cool. and, she hooks me up with free shit (like gospel brunch at the hob), and invites me to things even though she knows i act like an uncouth hoodlum at all times. gotta love someone who will let you come as you are, right?

i'd definitely be remiss if i ain't give no love to my homegyrl, deshi. though we spend most of the time we hang out under the influence, i'm sure that even sober she's pretty top notch. i mean, damn, she did hook me up with a free ticket to cali. (oh gosh i miss the bay.)

anyway, i just wanted to give some love to the friends i've met in the chi. feel free to give your friends a shout.

be easy,

ps: i'm really sorry i've been writing long posts lately. i'll try and do better.

language alone protects us from the scariness of things with no names. language alone is meditation. ~toni morrison


Blogger Dr. S said...

That's a great tribute. And the picture rocks my socks. Awesome.

16/12/05 08:35  
Blogger Alii said...

aww thats precious.

You know a great way to meet prople is to come to---

But im glad you have great friends- Further evidence that you posess some social skills in real life...


16/12/05 09:43  
Blogger Nick Davis said...


16/12/05 09:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey summer. it's rocksteady.
i'm glad i had a chance to check your blog today.

what a lovely post. truly sweet. sounds like you have some good people around you. i was just thinking about such people in my own life. i'm at a point where crazy changes are coming and some people have stepped up to help me out, and others have not. but such is life.

and who knew you were left-handed? always opening eyes and sharing with the people. i always learn something at fecundmellow.

oh and if you have minute, hit me up on my email. i seem to have misplaced your number and want to make sure i have it when i'm in chitown.

enjoy your day.

16/12/05 10:35  
Blogger summer m. said...

@dr. s: thanx. 2 of the 3 of us were trying to, um, recover. can you tell who?

@alii: thanx. but, you know, i kinda met my friends through being anti-social and shit. candace was my roommate, rrrr approached me at a grad student event and i was kinda mean to her, and saf and i really started talking through our blogs before we ever really hung out. even though saf and i had several classes together, i never said shit to her.

@nick: thanks, homie. i hope all is well with you.

@rocksteady: i'll shoot you an email.

16/12/05 11:15  
Anonymous Candace said...

I gonna cry! That was so special. I feel all appreciated and stuff. You forgot to mention that we have more in common than being roomies. We're both lefties and our birFdays are five days apart. You also forgot to mention that I have a picture of you in a DRESS with a BOY at PROM! HA! That tells you how far back we go. It's kind of sad that I still have my TASS shirt. Oh, don't forget to shout out Kittyhawk (RIP) and Pepper. They had a hand in your life experiences as a chicagoan.

16/12/05 13:41  
Blogger summer m. said...

@candace: you are SO right. we have mad shit in common, but the post was already long, and many of my readers have adhd. i'll give you a special shout on your burfday (go shawty). oh, and, don't forget our choice of car scent trees: cinnaberry.

as always, mad love to your cats kittyhawk (pour out a lil likker) and pepper (my homie). there any cheesecake left?

and, um, about that prom much you want for it?

16/12/05 13:54  
Blogger Phoenix said...

summshine-u could use the picture in your montage. don't think i ain't peeped the opp.

16/12/05 14:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

candace, i say you should hold on to the picture because i'm sure that you'll get more money for it later when she's a famous author.

sum-sum, i am so glad that you have found a place that you can call home and know people that accept and love the real you like i do. i was worried at first when i knew that you would be there all by yourself, but no more.

you know who

16/12/05 14:39  
Blogger Harold Gibson said...

This is very nice Summer. I guess I was surprised to hear you describe yourself as not nice, you are so giving and open on the blog.
Great wishes for a ho-ho-hanukahwanzaamas.

16/12/05 15:20  
Blogger summer m. said...

@phoenix: why you always making me work so hard, playa?

@anon: thanx, keish.

@harold: i'm really harmless and a big ole softy. asked keish and candy gyrl. they know.

16/12/05 17:17  
Blogger deshi said...

aww, thanks homie. :)
you're pretty swell yourself!

16/12/05 17:31  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was just the other day laughing to myself about how I had to wear you down to make you my friend. That's ok, I'm older -- I knew something you didn't, which is that I rock, that you rock, that few others rock as hard, and that therefore we should rock together.

You have been such a tremendous friend to me in the short time I've known you -- it would take up so much space to say all the ways. I would not be here, and I would not be as good as I am here, if you weren't as good as you are. You're the brilliant, hilarious, sappy, smart-alecky little sister that I never had.


16/12/05 18:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awww, now a beyotch has to let her guard down ::earth-shaking thud:: and say that you, Summer, are one of the coolest mutha fuckas that I have ever had the honor of knowing.

You are intelligent, hilarious, realer than real deal Holyfield, supportive, and decent as hell (reliable, trustworthy, honest, and caring). That shit is rarer than a two-parent black household, so I really appreciate it, I really appreciate being able to count you as a friend of mine.

You and Maegen (who is also mad intelligent, funny, open, giving, supportive, and decent) kept me sane while I was in the Chi, and are really the only reason (besides the concerts, Baja Fresh, Jamba Juice, and Harold's Chicken) that I will miss the place.

Thanks for holding a homesick beyotch down, and know, we're going to make our plans a fucking reality.

I mean, how else am I going to get to meet/seduce/marry/entrap with 2-3 children Pharrell? We gotta get famous or die tryin'...

16/12/05 22:38  
Blogger nahmix said...

sum, you certainly are in sentimental mood. i don't think i've ever been anyone's moral center before. thanks! glad i can help.

saf, you're too kind and you forgot the chipotle!

candace, i agree with Keisha, hold on to that photo...enquirer will pay hella $$ for it when this bitch blows up!

and for the record we saw the roots together 4 times this year!

16/12/05 23:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cheesecake and sghetti tomorrow. better call early if you want some.

17/12/05 00:37  
Blogger summer m. said...

@saf: no prob. i been kinda nice myself, lately. this shit has got to stop. thanx for the love, homie.

@nahmix: please stop encouraging these folks. and to think, i was gonna hire you as my manager...

@anon: i don't get off 'til nine. can you save me a slice?

17/12/05 11:14  
Blogger Kilimanjaro: High and Lo said...

awww summer you're so sweet, i almost can't stand it! nothing like good friendships **methinks i am about to cry (sniffles)

17/12/05 13:46  

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