(start a rumor monday...)


say it loud!...i'm gay and i'm proud!

late last week, harold gibson, unpaid and allegedly sexually harrassed fecundmellow intern, forwarded the following message from a reader to summer m., cranky chick in charge:

dear summer m.,

let me start by saying i hesitate to send this message, because i've seen how you've responded to negative commenters on your blog [jay and robert]. but i feel like i just need to be brave and step up. that said, i'd also like to preface my remarks by telling you that i read your blog everyday, and i love it. i think you're fantastically brilliant, and hot. i just can't believe that someone of your intelligence and sexiness is running around the city of chicago single [neither can we]!!

i have just one problem though: your blog isn't gay enough. you talk a lot about black people, and that's really great, but it's not the only marginalized and oppressed group you belong to. what about your gay and lesbian brothers and sisters?

where's your pride?

sincerely,
devoted reader

this is my response:

dear devoted,

thank you so much for reading my blog on a regular basis. i sincerely appreciate your dedication, despite your problems with my lack of "gay material". though i do generally rip "negative commenters" a new one, i'm turning over a new leaf...so in regard to your comment that my blog isn't "gay enough," i'd just like to say...

you're right.

yes, i have no quarrel with your argument. what you said is essentially true. who am i to run around here claiming to have a liquor license if i don't represent it as hard as i do other things? i mean, it's tough when you think about it...having to constantly write gendered, raced, classed, and same-sex loving toned blog entries. but i can do better. i really should get off my nig shit and write more about gay shit (and broad shit and working class shit). so i've come up with a 10 point plan to make my blog more gay:

• this blog will no longer be known as "fecundmellow" but "taste the rainbow."
  
• from this day forward, anytime i am talking about women, i will refer to them as womyn. "y" being the operative letter in the word.
• during the summer months, i will advertise and attend (black) gay pride weekends; and i will only endorse the products of those companies who have booths at pride events.
  
• in the "favorite movies" section of my profile, i will list bound as my all time favorite flick.
  
• hereafter, all blog titles will now be inspired by the lyrics of ani difranco, indigo girls, tracy chapman, and meshell n'degeocello.
• though i find the show to be obnoxiously boring and problematic, beginning in january of 2006, "start a rumor monday..." will be replaced with weekly recaps of the l word. i will refrain from talking about things such as how the only black chick on the show is straight (pam grier), for we all know that jennifer beals only gets partial credit for being a member of the race. (wasn't she outed as [part] black, after flashdance?)
• i will no longer use the phrase "the gay". i understand that using the article "the" implicitly suggests that homosexuality is some kind of undesirable and contagious disease...sort of like saying "the clap."
  
• i shall refrain from using homosexuality as a "dis" to certain people. thus, you will no longer see things such as "kangay west" or "oprah's lover, gayle" on my page.
  
• i promise to stop objectifying women, and being so obsessed with how pretty i think they are. it's most, er, more important for their politics hearts to be in the right place.
  
• finally, following the lead of two more famous bloggers, i will proceed to publish blog entries dedicated to asking whether or not certain black public figures who spew homophobic rhetoric are in actuality gay. (more on this later in the week.)

though my conversion to a more thoughtful, gay friendly blog will be difficult (i had to tear up approximately 75% of my jokes), i will do my best to show my pride. i've already taken positive steps, for i am eating a bag of skittles as i write this.

again, thank you for reading.

sincerely,
summer m.
hatin' ass homo blogstar, and unofficial voice of "the race."