start a rumor monday: and the plot thickens...

rabbits still stewing over discrimination.

just two weeks after the celebration of easter, bunnies united for garnering social success, or bugss has released the findings of what they've called "the easter study." over five years, researchers observed and documented "discriminatory practices" in shopping malls throughout the united states. according to bugss' findings, non-white rabbits have rarely, if ever, been employed by shopping malls during the easter season; while white rabbits have received 99.9% of the highly sought after and coveted position of shopping mall easter bunny.

"for the past five years we have sent non-white rabbits with impeccable resumes to more than 75 shopping centers throughout the united states," p. cottontail, president and ceo of bugss said during a press conference early this morning. "we also sent white rabbits with less stellar credentials to interview at these same malls. on every occasion but one, the white rabbits were chosen over their better qualified, darker counterparts. the statistics don't lie. this is blatant discrimination that has gone unnoticed for way too long. it is time for these bastions of american capitalism to wake up and address their unfair practices. we believe our lawsuit will aid in arousing these sleeping giants."

the litigious dispute, which even names mall building giants such as the rouse company and simon, does more than just shout discrimination. the suit is accompanied by a 200-page document where researchers have chronicled the "perpetual disrespect of of the rabbit." part of the text reads:

from cartoons to folk tales, the rabbit has been continuously negatively represented in the media. it is as if the rabbit has been dealt a bad hand by a cheating dealer. despite the presence of characters such as rabbit in the winnie the pooh stories, bunnies have been perpetually portrayed as slick talking, hubristically arrogant, baby making machines with a penchant for con artistry and trickery. these images have been tattooed upon the american psyche. as a result, rabbits have been discriminated against and disrespected in numerous societal institutions. the easter bunny industry is no exception.

though the mall industry has yet to formally acknowledge or respond to the allegations, buggs and others are very confident. "we will win," says bunny foo foo, founder and president of the feminist bunny trail industries, who has joined bugss in their lawsuit. "the discrimination is so blatant, no one can continue to ignore it. change will soon come." along with several grass roots organizations, the naacp and the rev. jesse jackson's rainbow/PUSH coalition can be counted as bugss supporters.

a march is expected.

the secret society of tortoises intends to protest the protest.

other easter disses:
jesus as groundhog