(start a rumor monday...)

two days after daughter's buriel, schiavo's parents back in court

4. april. 2005-- terry schiavo's (starved) body was cremated and interred saturday, april 2, amid more protests from her family. the court ordered cremation was the final act of a long, drawn out battle lasting 7 years. though schiavo's body has been buried, members of the schindler family, including schiavo's mother, father, and brother, are once again appealing to the supreme court. they are seeking a court order that grants them permission to mourn the death of terry schiavo longer than her husband, michael schiavo.

it seems that beef between the schiavo and schindler camp began 13 years ago, two years after michael schiavo was legally appointed terry schiavo's legal guardian. in 1990, terry schiavo collapsed in her home due to an apparent potassium imbalance. oxygen flow to her brain stopped for nearly five minutes. ironically, doctors believe this chemical imbalance was due to schiavo's bulimia, an eating disorder. in 1992, michael schiavo was awarded $1 million dollars in a malpractice suit; $700,000 was placed in a trust fund to pay for schiavo's care. it seems the battle began when the schindlers did not receive any part of the million dollar court award, and allegedly, schiavo's father promised to make her husband's life a living hell. in 1993, the schindlers petitioned to have michael schiavo removed as their daughter's legal guardian. 5 years later, michael schiavo submitted his petition to have the feeding tubed removed; in 2000, a judge claimed that her tube could be removed, but two days after its removal in august 2001, the tube was reinserted while the florida 2nd circuit court heard an appeal. after lengthy court battles, schiavo's feeding tube was removed in late march of 2005, and she died two weeks later. the schindlers then requested that the courts prevent schiavo's cremation, as they sought to bury her in florida so that they could visit her grave. last tuesday, the court ordered that michael schiavo had every right to cremate his wife.

and now: this morning, the schindler family lawyer submitted a request to the courts that the schindlers be granted legal permission to mourn the loss of their daughter/sister longer than michael schiavo. supporters are already gathering in front of the court house with signs showing support for the schindler case. 'we believe the schindlers have every right to mourn the loss of their beloved daughter and sister for the longest,' one supporter told reporters. 'mrs. schindler herself has already cried 12,396 tears, and used more than 500 tissue to blow her nose and wipe her eyes. in fact, both mr. and mrs. schindler have inked a deal with puffs. we are here to show our undying support for the schindler cause.'

the schindlers released a short statement through their lawyer, 'if michael schiavo cries 15,000 tears, we will cry 15,001. he may have taken her feeding tube out, he may have cremated her body, but he will not out-mourn us.'

members of congress have already agreed to hold a special session if need be, and 'president' bush was overheard saying that he supports the schindlers and their quest to mourn. 'i don't care if i have to hold onions under their eyes, them schindlers are gonna get to cry the most. they have my undying support,' he said. 'the american publics beware. any water you see coming from michael schiavo's eyes, well, there's a saying in texas and i believe they say it in other countries, too: them's crocodile tears.'

terry schiavo's brother has already issued a challenge to michael schiavo. bobby schindler has recently recorded a battle rap called, "not by the hairs of my schinny schin schin," that can be heard on the new dj clue mix-tape currently circulating in underground hip hop circles. (along with the above mentioned puffs deal, bobby schindler has signed with dame dash records. his album tentatively titled, in search of bobby schindler is due out early next year.)

there is no word yet on whether or not michael schiavo will respond. (but fecundmellow mighta heard that he's getting rap lessons from jay-z.)

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HAPPY 21ST BURFDAY TO MY BROTHER, DAVID.

and, uh, go see million dollar baby.