Wednesday, May 25, 2005

fecundmellow presents: summer m.'s favorite white women
don't tell minister farrakhan/he don't wanna know what's going on (mighty casey swipe)

the other week, i listed my favorite white men. so in an effort to be fair, i've decided to list my favorite white women.

the golden girls: man, y'all just don't understand how much i love golden girls. nahmix and i often discuss and act out scenes via i.m. and/or in person from our favorite episodes. my mother and i talk about gg during our phone convos as if the show is not in reruns. anyway, i can't say it enough: gg is my favorite tv show of all time. more than roseanne; more than the cosby show; gg is my shit. i've seen every episode, and i still laugh my ass off. i'm talking belly laughs while i'm alone in my living room. they just crack me up, and i don't know why. i find it offensive when people do not see the timeless humor of gg. i'm not saying you have to watch it 4 times a day like i do, i just think you should respect and appreciate the genius of the show. sofia is my favorite character; but i identify most with dorothy. which golden girl are you?

ellen: ellen is my fashion role model. strange, i know. but i am a sneaker whore; it seems like she is, too. my goal in life is to have enough clout to be able to wear jeans and/or sneakers anywhere i go. i admire ellen for accomplishing such a feat. iono why, but she just puts a smile on my face. i watch her while i do my bitch-ass marathon training. she gives me small goals, 'run until she dances'...'run until she finishes with the looky lou'...etc. etc. i'm really glad she's made such a huge comeback. i watch reruns of her sitcom on the oprah network (shhhh. don't tell). and she's also in finding nemo--well, she lends her voice to a character. finding nemo is my shit. finally, i try not to judge a celebrity on his/her public persona and/or behavior, but i do have to say, i think ellen is prolly a super nice person.

flannery o'connor: i was 'converted' to the flannery o'connor club more or less by my girl rrrrachel (wow, two blog shoutouts in a row, homie!). i'd always loved and appreciated her short stories, but rachel really helped me love her even more. she deals with the mysteries in life while simultaneously being super funny. i dig her mucho. besides, i've been using one of her quotes on the side bar of my blog, 'the truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it emotionally.' that's some shit to ponder. f'real.

stevie nicks: stevie nicks is my favorite hippy. i loooooove her voice so much. i swear i play some stevie nicks at least once a week. whether solo or with fleetwood mac, i never get tired of stevie. she's just so dope, man. as a really young kid i loved the song 'gypsy' which stevie wrote. i would later fall in love with 'leather and lace' and 'edge of seventeen'; i love the latter even more since it got used in school of rock (see that shit, please. jack black is funny as hell). not one white chick can really fuck w/ stevie. except maybe carole king--i love her so much i can't even write about her. speaking of carole king, anybody wanna go see her this summer in the chi?

pat summitt: as i've said a gazillion times, i'm from indiana. as a result, basketball ruled my life for a while. when you're a young girl playing ball in the late 80s and early 90s, you watch the tennessee volunteers. you therefore recognize pat summitt as a basketball icon. i met pat summitt once when she was recruiting a local high skool star who happened to live next door to my basketball coach. she was very nice, but her blue eyes were even more intense in person as they were on tv. when i was a freshman in college, i went to mackey arena to see the lady vols take on the purdue lady boilers. in my whole section filled with fans rocking the black and old gold, i was the lone person with a bright orange shirt on. my dedication to pat summitt and the lady vols is that strong. pat summitt don't take no shit; and i dig that a lot. she also has more divison i basketball victories than anybody.

angelina jolie: to put it very bluntly: angelina could get it. i don't know what it is about her (prolly the lips...go figure), but if she ever wanted to take a big ass, broke, so-not-famous, midwestern black chick as a lover, i'm her girl. true, i slept through the first lara croft in the movie theater, and i don't think i've 'seen' any other angelina movie. i therefore cannot speak to her acting talents. i can, however, speak to her sexiness. plus, her son's mohawk rocked.

in a somewhat unrelated note, i was watching ellen and gwen stefani was on singing 'holla back, girl' and i was just telling saf the other day that she [meaning gwen] should do a remix w/ debbie harry (of blondie) because she sounds kinda like her when she raps. like, they could fuse together the music of 'holla back' and 'rapture' and have debbie do some of her verse in the remix. i think it would work. next time you here 'holla back', rap some of the lines of 'rapture' over the track. if you don't know anyway, here are some: fab five freddy told me everybody's fly/dj spinning i said 'my my/flash is fast flash is cool/francois c'est pas flashe non due/an dyou don't stop sure shot/go out to the parking lot...

fecundmellow essentializes regardless of race, color, creed, sex, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, et. al.

language alone protects us from the scariness of things with no names. language alone is meditation. ~toni morrison


Blogger Nick Davis said...

I can't believe you love Stevie Nicks this much! Not only do I love her, too, I am literally sitting her listening to the Wild Heart album while I revise my diss. I wrote her a letter when I was in 8th grade, and I got a detailed letter back from her assistant with a personal PS from Stevie. I was impressed.

I'm with you on the Flannery tip, too. "Good Country People" gets the biggest thumbs up.

25/5/05 23:38  
Blogger Miss Jessi said...

Nice. I too love the Golden Girls...

According to the quiz, I am most like Sophia... go figure.

26/5/05 08:22  
Blogger nahmix said...

Wow, I'm surprised Ellen wasn't #1 on your list!

According to the quiz, I'm most like Sophia. What do you think?She's actally my favorite character though!

26/5/05 09:59  
Blogger mwilli said...

I think that Debbie Harry and Gwen Stefani fuse would be hot! I'd have to say that even though I am married 7 years, I would totally try to get at Angelina Jolie. She is so beautiful to me, the lips, eyes, hair, skin etc... and as for the quiz, I am more like Dorothy.... go figure.

26/5/05 10:17  
Blogger Nick Davis said...

Yeah, I'm a Dorothy, too. I knew it'd be between her and Rose, though I'm sure Dorothy would prefer to think they have nothing in common.

26/5/05 10:54  
Anonymous studpoet said...

the only white woman i could imagine getting with...angelina jolie! if you want to see some angelina movies you must check out the following:

1) Gia
2) Girl Interrupted
3) Original Sin
4) Alexander (note: most people hated this movie. but i sat breathless throughout it because of angelina!)

and of course go see Mr. & Mrs. Smith!


p.s. my girl loves the golden girls. she got me back into it. but when it was doing its "first run" my family and i used to watch it together. by the way do you remember when they had a gay housekeeper? i think it was in the first girl swears they didn't.

26/5/05 11:08  
Blogger btrfly_locs said...

I love Stevie Nicks, and I used to think I was the only Black person my age who did until I spent a rainy afternoon with about 4 of my friends listening to Fleetwood Mac and singing every was crazy!

Angelina...*sigh*. I must say that motherhood seems to have made her a little less crazy and even more beautiful.

26/5/05 11:48  
Anonymous ~eLLe~ said...

hey there... just added u as one of my favorite reads.. check out my new spot.

26/5/05 12:07  
Blogger MB said...

and if you threw a party, and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say . . .

sorry, had to do that. they don't play the whole theme song enough on lifetime.

i feel you on the gwen/debbie tip

26/5/05 12:32  
Blogger summer m. said...

@maegen: i didn't rank them numerically, but if i did, golden girls would definitely be on the top of my list. i agree that you're sophia. you got spunk. and you're honest as fuck.

@mwilli and nick: i am also dorothy. i'm pretty sure i'm her because i also stay home a lot and am undersexed.

@stud poet: ok, so maybe i have seen an angelina movie--i did see girl interrupted once.

also, as for the gay housekeeper, in the pilot episode there is a gay cook, coco. this is the episode when blanche is thinking about marrying harry (though she's only know him a week). rose bugs out about not being able to afford to move and says to dorothy, 'what do we have for collateral? a gay cook?' he doesn't appear in other episodes.

@eLLe, i'll def check your new spot. thanx for the love.

@moya: in earlier episodes, they'll play the whole theme. there's a whole 'nother verse, too.

@e'rybody: how come when i post about white folks y'all got mad shit to say, but when i post about other shit y'all disappear?

26/5/05 13:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm Dorothy, too. I was hoping for Blanche, because she's such a fucking sexpot.

Anyway, you know how I feel about Stevie Nicks, and I am so glad to see that so many others share my love. Stevie singing "Landslide" has been known to bring a tear to a beyotch's eye. Like you said, that voice is one in a million.

Oh, and I also feel you on the AJ. She could fucking own it. And she has enough cash to buy it, so I'm not just talking shit. I think it's the lips for me, too. Oh, and I think Gia is one of her best roles, if you wanted to see another of her films.

26/5/05 16:00  
Blogger deshi said...

am i the only one in the world that just doesn't get the hype over angelina jolie??? i mean, looks wise she's just... aight... i guess.
i happen to dig gwen stefani, and i love ellen's suits. stevie nicks is hot shit, and of course the golden girls are just golden... and apparently i most resemble dorothy even though all those questions were pretty wack!

white girls i would like to give
shout outs to:

chloe sevigny
michelle pfeiffer
demi moore (before all the surgery)
hilary swank

surely there are more, i just can't think right now. 30-something bitches got me all riled up. :(

26/5/05 17:19  
Blogger nahmix said...

@ Deshi, I think Anjelina is hideous!!!

26/5/05 22:08  
Blogger Nick Davis said...

Summer, you and me both. Dorothy Pride! (Where's our parade?)

27/5/05 01:22  
Blogger Amadeo said...

I have the Golden Girls theme song on my hard drive right now. I actually want to sample it but I'm not sure how. Pat Summit kicks ass.

27/5/05 08:48  
Blogger solitaire said...

homegirl, thanks for the inspiration...I was thinking of blogging on my favourite 'angry white women' (a quip from a book entitled 'angry black women')..I think I'll combine both! ha ha

Hey, the second season of GG is out on DVD (just saw an ad for it). Do you have the first one yet?

30/5/05 11:19  
Blogger Harold Gibson said...


You gots to be my girl. I thought I was the only black person who loved the gold en girls. My wife used to look at me in utter disbelief when I would be on the floor laughing at those old white women.

The writing and the actin was great. I miss that foolishness.

Ellen is cool but you know my favorite white women are Sharon Gless and Tyne Daly those two women keep rockin. Gless is the only reason for watch that shit QAF and Daly gave Amy life.

And of course I wish Cagney and Lacey was in synidcation.

2/6/05 10:10  
Blogger summer m. said...

@harold: you can catch reruns of cagney and lacey on me tv, i believe. of course, i think the channel is hard to get if you have cable.

2/6/05 12:24  

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