(start a rumor monday...)

news briefs

kanye says, 'my mama made me a fa gay.'

during all eyes on kanye west, an the mtv interview to publicize his latest release, late registration, rapper, producer, video directer, etc., kanye west (known on this blog and others as, 'that nigga ye') pulled a louis farrakhan, and called for an end to homophobia and discrimination against gay people, especially in hip hop.

'everybody in hip hop discriminates against gay people,' west said during the interview with mtv's, sway. 'matter of fact, the exact opposite of the word "hip hop," i think, is gay...i wanna just come on tv, and just tell my rappers, tell my friends, "yo, stop it fam."

west did admit during the interview, however, that he wasn't always so open-minded. in fact, he claims that his homophobia stemmed from being a "mama's boy" all his life. he had this to say about growing up in chicago with his mother after his parents' divorce, 'it gets to the point that when you go to high school and you wasn't out in the streets like that, and you ain't have no father figure, or you wasn't around your father all the time, who you gonna act like? you gonna act like your mother. ... and then everybody in high school be like, "yo, you actin' like a f--. dog, you gay?" and i used to deal with that when i was in high school.' he went on, 'and what happened was it made me kind of homophobic, 'cause i would go back and question myself, like, "damn, why does everyone else walk like this, and i walk like this?"'

west claimed that he searched for masculine role models and distanced himself from other gay people to 'prove' his heterosexuality, going as far as discriminating against people he thought were gay. that was until he was told that one of his cousins was gay. he admitted to sway, '[but then] my cousin told me that another one of my cousins was gay, and i loved him, he's one of my favorite cousins. and at that point it was kind of like a turning point when i was like, "yo, this my cousin, i love him and i been discriminating against gays."'

west's 'acceptance' of the gay lifestyle was made evident when sway asked if his angry behavior after an unnamed awards show was the result of him not winning an award, or being 'robbed' (again), 'i was really more upset that you couldn't actually see my outfit on the show. i had this dope-ass, pink-and-brown outfit.'

n.b., or, this is where the rumor starts: through careful research and conversations with other bloggers (shout out ali), it has been determined that along with meaning homie, or anonymous sexual partner, the term cousin is also a euphemism for one's penis. you may therefore substitute 'my dick' for cousin in the above quote to get a clearer picture of what west is saying.

in a related note, we at fecundmellow are still trying to determine whether or not west's metal jaw affects his, uh, performance. in other words, john legend's camp did not return our phone calls.

other news

angelina uses coupon, adopts two more children

just weeks after announcing that she'd adopted an ethiopian girl, angelina jolie welcomed two more additions to her 'rainbow tribe' over the weekend. it seems the starlet got a two-for-one deal at the adoption grocery store. jolie turned her adoption endeavors stateside and has decided to play mommy to six-month old african american girls born in oakland, ca. in february.

'it's no secret that african american children are less expensive to adopt than children of other races,' jolie's publicist said during a statement. 'you could call it a buy one get one free sort of deal, but we really think that saying such things would put a price on these adorable little girls. and everybody knows that money and how much things cost only matters to people who don't have it.'

following the lead of cambodia, who recently honored jolie by giving her citizenship, the mayor of oakland gave her a key to the city, an honorary ghetto pass, and an 'i'm white and i just adopted a black kid' starter kit, which included a hot comb, blue magic hair grease, cocoa butter, a lifteime supply of vaseline, and a telephone with several black hairstylists' numbers on speed dial.

jolie's publicist added that the tabloid favorite will take custody of her half-year-old girls at the end of august. she added, 'they have their mother's lips.'

jolie accepted her award via satellite. she was in antarctica adopting a penguin.


ncaa bans offensive mascots...but not until 2008

the ncaa has decided to ban all mascots deemed offensive in all competitions sponsored by the association beginning in 2008. this ban includes the florida state seminole, and the university of illinois' chief illiniwek, pictured left.

the ban also requires that offensive images be removed from all uniforms including those of players and cheerleaders.

'i believe the ncaa is doing the right thing. this is both a personal and professional victory for me, as my great-great-great grandmother was a cherokee princess,' one ncaa official said during a press conference late last week. 'it is our hope that waiting 3 years to enforce the ban will not only give colleges and universities time to correct their uniforms and half-time activities, but there is also the possibility that just maybe all the remaining indians will be dead by then. now if you'll excuse me, there's a black jack table with my name on it at the seminole casino immokalee. how.'

if the ban does actually go into affect, florida state university's board of trustees has already accepted a new mascot. if the school must abandon the seminole name, as of 2008 they will be known as the florida state jivin' sambos. memin pinguin will be their new mascot.


this is just a kind and gentle reminder that you can vote as often as you like for your favorite black weblogs. and, no, you don't have to be black to vote; you just gotta be black to be nominated. kinda like running for the u.s. presidency. only in reverse.