(start a rumor monday...)


jones, mcmillan join in anti-gay marriage campaign

the conservative crusade to preserve the sanctity of and protect marriage has troops to add to the fight. no, britney spears has not had her marrying privileges taken away permanently. talk show host, star jones and ghetto lit goddess, terry mcmillan have (re)discovered their christian values, and joined in the debate concerning gay marriage-- siding with the conservatives.

"it's not that i'm against gay marriage. i'm just against gays marrying other gays," star jones' publicist read from a statement by ms. jones during a press conference early monday morning. "if such ideas go into law, can you imagine how even more limited the pool of eligible single black men will be? i'm not doing this for me, because i am the happily married star jones reynolds. i'm doing this for my girls. black women need love, too. a love like al's and mine."

though jones pledged her allegiance to a gay marriage ban out of love, mcmillan's support more than likely comes from a place of anger. just months after news hit that her (soon to be former) husband, jonathan plummer 'discovered' he was gay, and therefore sought to officially terminate his husbandly duties, mcmillan has used her book tour as an opportunity to put her two cents in the battle. "just the thought of allowing gay people to marry other gay people makes me cringe. all this peace, love, and happiness surrounding the gay lifestyle makes me sick. it's the reason why my marriage ended. what happened to the good old days when gay men passed for straight? they should make you stay in gay areas and not mingle with the natives if you're gonna act all queer. like jim crow for gay people--call it jim j. bullock, " she laughed. "i fucking hate rainbows."

"what's a marriage if you don't lie to one another?" both seem to be asking. during the view's "hot topics" segment jones said, "tell me you were at your boy's watching the game, and that you fell asleep. don't tell me you went to the titty bar. and if you're gay, that's fine. just lie to me about it. how many married couples have sex? with each other anyway? i know al and i don't. but that doesn't mean we're not in love. we're absolutely in love. i, star jones reynolds, do solemnly swear that i'm in love with my husband, the love of my life, mr. al reynolds."

to which joy behar responded, "it's apparent that you do not support gay men marrying each other, but what about lesbians?"

"oh, i looove lesbians. it makes the statistics more even. besides, they really know how to change my oil. and for cheap, too."



(eh. i'm off. my bad.)

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