Monday, June 20, 2005

(start a rumor monday...)
v is for versus

jacko, jack-off--once again it's on!!!!

black america has seen its share of beef, and not just from mcdonald's and other fast food places that cause a gazillion health problems: ll cool j versus kool moe dee. 'pac versus biggie. whitney versus wendy. and now....michael joe versus jesse lou.

this just in:

after serving as the king of pop's spiritual adviser, jesse jackson (sources from the jackson camp say his version of 'go down, moses' rivals that of paul robeson) has left team gloved one due to a major falling out between the two men who had seemingly grown close during mj's trial. 'now the only thing they have in common is an overly popular black last name,' a source close to jackson said. 'reverend jesse seemed like he wanna be startin' something, so the king of pop told him to beat it. '

persons close to both jacksons say things between the two became strained soon after 10 not guilty verdicts were handed down from the jury. celebrating his victory, the exonerated mj threw a slumber party at his neverland ranch for his young fans. it seems rev. jackson got quite upset when he realized that of the young boys present, all were either white or latino, and none were black. 'reverend jesse's reaction was so off the wall,' the source continued. 'he walks into michael's bedroom where the kids are, and just starts calling michael names, saying he's just like vicente fox. here your highness had caught a case and had just beat it, and reverend jackson starts calling him a smooth criminal.'

jesse jackson cries racism against the other jackson for what he claims was, 'a case of discrimination beyond my wildest imagination. the lack of presence of young black male pubescent adolescents requires a severance of relations between gary, indiana's most famous son and me.' with the financial backing of the rainbow/push coalition, jackson intends to sue jackson for discriminating against black boys. jackson claims he broached the subject to jackson peacefully, when jackson flippantly responded, 'what do you think this is? juvie?' the reverend reflected, 'that's when my soul experienced great agitation.'

though there is no legal precedent for such a case, run, jesse, run has already garnered the support of the rev. al sharpton and the naacp. the latter believes that they can lend tremendous support, and hopefully influence the paler jackson as they did tv networks who failed to have african american shows in their fall line-ups several years ago.

in related news...

michael jackson and court tv's jami floyd are not the same person, they are not related, and they do not have the same stylist.

eh...i have been wrong before.

language alone protects us from the scariness of things with no names. language alone is meditation. ~toni morrison


Blogger Jdid said...

you're back and you're back with a vengeance. damn this one is tight, think you used the beat it line one time too many though.

20/6/05 15:09  
Blogger Miss Jessi said...

Oh, how we've missed you so....

20/6/05 15:17  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I see your vacation rejuvenated your crazy ass. Glad to have you back.

20/6/05 19:29  
Blogger rrrrrrrachel said...

'that's when my soul experienced great agitation.'

[laughing out loud so as to scare the dog]

i'm so glad you're back.

20/6/05 21:34  
Blogger rrrrrrrachel said...

oh, and you should add another catergory to music tag: album you are most embarassed to love. or are yall too self -assured for that?

20/6/05 21:37  
Blogger RoRicka said...

"v is for versus" really cracked me the hell up! the rest was hilarious, as usual, but that "v is for versus" is still making me laugh.

20/6/05 21:42  

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