Monday, October 17, 2005

(start a rumor monday...)

millions more march... Posted by Picasa

dubya's questions and bill bennett's observations about the millions more march as overheard by fecundmellow head hater, summer m.**

dubya: shouldn't these people be on a roof, or in iraq or something?

bennett: i do know that it's true that if you wanted to drown those black people at the march, if that were your sole purpose, you could unload your surplus of malt liquor into the reflecting pool. you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could pour malt liquor into the reflecting pool, and every black person at the march would drown. that would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but every black person at the march would drown. so, these far out, these far reaching extensive extrapolations are, i think, tricky."

dubya: condi, i think your cousins are outside. something about a family reunion.

bennett: i do know that it's true that if you wanted to get soul train canceled you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could kill every black person at this march and soul train's ratings would go down. that would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but soul train's ratings would go down. so, these far out, these far reaching extensive extrapolations are, i think, tricky.

dubya: what do they want now? i told them i saw roots.

bennett: i do know that it's true that if you wanted to know if these black muslims knew of bin laden's whereabouts, if that were your sole purpose, you could torture them by frying bacon and making them eat it. that would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but you'd find out if they knew where bin laden was hiding. so, these far out, these far reaching extensive extrapolations are, i think, tricky.

dubya: is this the world's largest outdoor electric slide convention?

bennett: i do know that it's true that if you wanted to make all these black women run for shelter you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could make it rain. that would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but these women would run for shelter. so, these far out, these far reaching extensive extrapolations are, i think, tricky.

dubya: what would bill clinton do?

**um, can anyone tell me if bill bennett is being vicente foxed by our noble black leaders?


posted by summer of sam @ 14:14 


language alone protects us from the scariness of things with no names. language alone is meditation. ~toni morrison

9 Comments:

Blogger Harold Gibson said...

perfection!!!!! This is the best.

17/10/05 18:50  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it would be "morally reprehensible" for me to comment on this weeks start a rumor!!! You are the shit Summer M. WTF!!! Brilliant!

17/10/05 19:08  
Blogger deshi said...

wow that new pic in your profile is like a work of art! who's the photographer of that masterpiece?
lol...

17/10/05 22:36  
Blogger Dr. S said...

This one has a "Get Your War On" cut-and-paste feel to it, in an entirely good way. Yeah! Have you seen that, with the clip art office workers and the guest appearances by Voltron?

17/10/05 22:36  
Blogger chase said...

you ain't shit, but that post had me laughing soda out my nose, lmaooo

17/10/05 23:57  
Blogger summer of sam said...

@harold: i'm glad you approve.

@anon: thank you. i do my best.

@deshi: maybe i should hire you as my personal photographer.

@dr. s: no, i haven't seen it. is there a website?

@chase: have you been talking to women i've dated? i know i ain't shit, but you ain't have to tell e'rybody.

i'll buy you some more pop. yeah, pop. that's midwestern for soda.

18/10/05 00:05  
Blogger NicksFlickPicks said...

Thank God I've finally gotten the hang of closing my office door before I read these things. Though they can still probably hear me laugh. "Make it rain"!!! You can probably hear me laughing from Chicago.

18/10/05 10:58  
Blogger Amadeo said...

I haven't heard alot about specific people getting on bennett but I know some have. He moonwalked better than M.J. and said it was in Freakonomics.

18/10/05 11:45  
Blogger jb said...

GGGGGunit! I'm doing the Tony Yayo dance. The bacon quip had me very amused. The rain reference: acute and humorous Africanic insight. That is me all day. White people harass me for having my umbrella up when they claim that it's not raining but I know good and well that there is enough moisture in the air to turn even the hardest press back at which point I say something along the lines of "get thee to a monastery white mannnnnn" ("nunnery" in the case of the white womannnn). You see it's very important to invoke their whiteness since any self-respecting black person understands why black women fear rain unless they got vacation braids.

PS-I promise. After this no more excessively long comments.

18/10/05 18:51  

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