Wednesday, June 22, 2005

fecundmellow presents: a whole lotta yella wasted, or, in defense of my chix

(can you pass a brown paper bag test?)

my asshole-ishness is genetic. yes, yes y'all (and ya don't stop), i was born with it. no assholification process for me; i was born assholificating. but i digress. the purpose of that random and quite odd point of entry is to give a shout out to nannie (who is less than yella, and prolly coulda passed), my great-grandmother and lil summer's first best friend. she gotta lotta sayings, one of which is, '(such and such is) a whole lotta yella wasted'. this term--for those of you whose blackness is (often) in question and/or who are white--is used to described ugly light-skinned people. oh yes, being light-skinned and ugly is quite possible.

now every now and then some random ass chick harrasses my girls nahmix and safire b/c both claimed--and rightfully so--that tiny from xscape looks like piglet. it seems as if said random chick doesn't believe that light-skinned people can be ugly. therefore, to defend my gyrls, and further disprove the 'if you're white (in this case i suppose light is more appropriate) all right...' theory, below i provide more examples of ugly light-skinned people.


reggie miller: and the light eyes, too? what a waste. even his jumpshot is ugly. he'd also make the list of 'nigs who wouldn't get laid if they ain't have money' if i had one.

tisha campbell: good lord, she ain't cute. plus she gotta funny shape. once again proving that light-skinned chicks trying to be actors in the late 80s and 90s had a helluva better time than their darker counterparts. remember little shop of horrors? whatever happened to ronette, the big dark-skinned(ed) singer? that's right: it is her only film role. and tichina arnold? well, she did have the stint as pam on martin, but where is she now? what about a.j. johnson--you know, sharane from house party; sydney's (arnold) homegirl? well all i know is she was in wack-ass baby boy playing tyreese's mama. it's a good thing she's a fitness trainer.

will smith: yeah, nigga, i said it. will smith is ugly. don't get fooled by the good-grooming, wack rhymes, and alleged charm. (frankly, i find him boring and uninteresting.) will you look at those features? those ears. them little, too far apart eyes. and--might i add--that very negroid nose.

tom joyner: oh man. there is a reason why this cat is on the radio. the fact that he gets on my last nerve further exacerbates his ugliness.

jasmine guy: personally, i think jasmine guy and prince look alike. she wasn't too bad looking during her a different world days, but damn she DID NOT age well. she, too, benefited from the 'light skinned(ed) chicks are in movement' during the late 80s and early 90s. i mean, damn, as annoying as she was on adw, she still got way more play than kim who was super pre-med student and worked at the pitt (she can cook!) but only got like 1 episode of play during the early years ('member the one where she had the pregnancy scare?).**

ronnie devoe: how many girls had a crush on the yella tall nigga in new edition? if anybody benefited from being the lightest member of a boy band, it's ronnie devoe.

tiny: i believe saf and nahmix have sufficiently argued for her inclusion on this list.

tayshaun prince: i love the way he plays basketball, and i really looooove the fact that he's left-handed, but that's about it. even the baby face doesn't help.

as saf often says, 'some shit is empirical.'
oh, i could go on, but i'm sure someone will fill in the blanks.

i rest my case.

**i know towards the end of the show kim got love from ron johnson and shit, but damn, she had to wait a long ass time. and i know freddie ain't get no play either, but she was weird and from new mexico. (who the fuck is from new mexico?)

once again: fecundmellow essentializes regardless of race, color, creed, sex, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, et. al.

language alone protects us from the scariness of things with no names. language alone is meditation. ~toni morrison


Anonymous Anonymous said...

May I add to the list Mya, who looks like a rodent, has thick ass ankles, and can't sing for shit.

22/6/05 14:27  
Anonymous Anne said...

I don't know, Summer...I think that Jasmine and Michael Jackson also share an uncanny resemblance...

22/6/05 14:57  
Blogger Miss Jessi said...

I am ashamed to admit that i did have a crush on Ronie DeVoe once upon a time... hey, I was 10 years old, leave me alone!

22/6/05 15:22  
Blogger Alii said...

oh jesus- and re: safire's comment, i thought i was the only one who felt that way about mya...


22/6/05 21:15  
Blogger RoRicka said...

even though i think she looks good, and she got a horrible character on the show 'girlfriends,' i have to say persia white. i want to see her in another role though, if she ever has one.

22/6/05 21:58  
Blogger Harold Gibson said...

Excuse me for having one of my "I love all my peoples moment." Although I truly love the tongue-in-cheek listing of these people, I must, just must protest the inclusion of tisha campbell on the list. She looks too much like my wife and she (the true soul mate of my life) ain't ugly.

But how you have an ugly light skinned people and leave off the light skinned part of kid n play?

How can you leave off Tim Duncan and Derek Jeter?

And if Jasmine and Tisha are on the list then y'all got to make room for Lisa Bonet.

But even though y'all call them ugly they are beautiful in their black yellowness.

22/6/05 23:27  
Blogger Karsh said...

Tom Joyner looks like a damn hobgoblin. Good list!

23/6/05 07:29  
Blogger fuss said...

This post is all kinds of wrong.

I maintain that nobody thinks Piglet is cute except for her friends, family and dudes that want to fuck her, light or not. I can understand people thinking that somebody being light makes them better looking than someone dark (as fucked up as that is), but I can't fathom not conceding that a motherfucker because of skin color.

I guess don't get the whole colorstruck thing because I was lucky enough to encounter many beautiful and ugly people of all shades before I was made aware of the color divide. Lord knows I have endured enough psychic pain from Black folks without adding this to the list because it is really insidious and hurtful. I guess I have my family to thank for that -- even though in recent years I have noticed that they are kinda colorstruck (in both directions) themselves. I'm thinking I really dodged a bullet by being so self-absorbed as a child.

That being said, where is Terrence Howard? He's been getting a pass on that mug.

23/6/05 11:48  
Blogger summer m. said...

@saf and alii: mya has been added.

@anne: now that you've pointed it out, i do see a resemblance.

@roricka: who is persia white? (i don't watch girlfriends.)

@harold: i still maintain that tisha campbell is ugly. in fact, when my nannie saw her on tv, she did actually call her a 'whole lotta yella wasted' i kid you not.

@karsh: radio still exists for lookers like joyner.

@traci: i feel you. i, too, dodged that bullet. though my mom's side of the family is super light, and my father's is a bit dark (my college roommate said my mama coulda been white and i'da come out the same color; she was in fact surprised that my sister and i aren't darker), i didn't get the whole color thing until much later in life.

the only time i recall skin color being an issue growing up is this one time as a young, naive, still sitting on laps kid when i asked nannie why her skin was white/light/pale. she got pretty pissed (maybe the only time she scolded me), and i kept mum about it after that.

hmmm...after that, i used to kinda freak out when grandparents' day at skool came around b/c i was convinced the other kids wouldn't think she and i were related, but it never seemed to be a problem. wow, that brings me to a story about grandparents day and my friend anissa, but that's a TOTAL digression. i might blog about that now that it's in my head. thanx, fuss. you rock!

23/6/05 13:40  
Blogger Fresh said...

Damn, that was brilliant.

26/6/05 10:52  
Blogger summer m. said...

@fresh, thanx.

26/6/05 19:53  
Blogger Nick Davis said...

I saw Jasmine Guy interviewed on the DVD of Tupac: Resurrection, and I must say, it was a ghastly sight. Looking pretty haggard, though I must say, I still prefer this to the Botox look. And her mind was still in good places, so I feel bad dogging her on the superficial tip. But still. A little bit yikes.

Am I gonna make a wave if I allege that I still think Will Smith is pretty cute. I mean, by all means, take the mic away. from. him. And I hated Hitch. But I do not mind the mug.

29/6/05 00:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is utterly wrong. This whole website. An immediate dissapointment to the black race as a whole, regardless of skin tone. this is why we can't ever get along.

28/7/05 01:05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who has created this web site?why so much hate?!Why? we are all black no wonder why the race still have so many divisions and issues until now the hate is so real.i am light Skin and everyday i go thru peoples hating me and wonder why my hair and may coulour is like this!Disgarcefull!Its time to start to think about serious issues then wasting time hating!
God Bless You!

10/11/09 12:20  
Anonymous cutiekookie said...

will smith is not ugly and he is talented in acting and tisha leave ma baby alone u bitch did u see her in martin she FINE and so get facts striaght ur probably a ugly virgin loner so sayanoraaaa sucka

12/4/10 16:37  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OKAY bitch you went too far. Will smith is NOT ugly he fine and talented. Have you seen his movies. Tisha is the finest woman since martin shes fine there so you cant sit on ur cheap asss computer laptop whatever and make fun of people who are worth more than you ugly asss
jealouss broke asss

12/4/10 16:41  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i would fuck tisha cambell ,spilled much sperm masturbating to her.

30/9/10 23:49  
Anonymous ebonybrown said...

I am a black women and I can't help but be insulted by this blog.. Why should someone's skin complection manner? We are part of the human race.. Instead of hating one another we should be proud of everyone's accomplish's.. when we judge people their skin and outside apperance shouldn't be part of it.. These are black actors who praved the way.. Will Smith has won so many awards for his acting, frankly the way he looks shouldn't manner and for me it doesn't.. There's so much hate in this world why add to it by spreading your ignorance thru blogs such as this one.. I don't think that it's these actors you don't like I think deep down you really don't like yourself I hope one day that changes.. God Bless ~bean~

12/1/11 22:34  

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